May 4, 2023
When listening to today's episode, you will likely not believe
the number of times the word 'hope' is spoken. From the very first
day that Jimmy's 22-year-old son, Lee, was killed in a car accident
16 years ago, Jimmy has clung to hope. Initially, that hope was
given to him by another bereaved father who stayed with him in his
home after Lee died. He said that although Jimmy could not feel it
at that moment, the pain would not always be so intense and that
his family would experience joy again. This was Jimmy's first
glimpse of hope.
In the coming months and years, Jimmy's grief was intense. There were days when he did not think he could survive the pain, but that little glimmer of hope remained. His faith never abandoned him, and he would constantly remind himself of Psalm 118:24 - This is the day that the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Each day, he would make the decision to choose joy. This did not mean that he did not grieve deeply. Jimmy cried daily and would allow the waves of grief to come. After those periods of deep mourning, however, he would feel just a bit better.
Over time, that hope grew stronger and the joyful moments became more frequent. Jimmy relates that years after Lee's death, their first grandchild was born. He remembers looking into his wife's eyes that day and seeing pure joy resonating there for the first time since the accident. It had taken years, but it was there. That does not mean that Jimmy has left his grief behind. It is always right there with him. He even apologized before we started recording, telling me that he would not be able to tell Lee's story without tears.
That's what makes Jimmy's words so precious to me. If Jimmy were to tell me just to feel joy and forget about the pain, I would have cast him aside. If he had told me to cling to my grief and never feel joy again, I would not be able to feel any hope for the future. Jimmy, however, allows us to experience both. His parting words to me today were, 'There is hope for joy in your life again. Hold on to hope. Don't give up.'