May 18, 2023
Resilience is a word that we don't often think about before
encountering tragedy. When we see people face difficult trials and
then go on to triumph, people call them resilient, but what is
resilience? How would we define resilience? As I was preparing for
this podcast, I thought that I should probably look up a true
definition so I did just that. Merriam-Webster discusses the word
resilience in this way: 'In physics, resilience is the ability of
an elastic material to absorb energy (such as from a blow) and
release that energy as it springs back to its original shape. The
recovery that occurs in this phenomenon can be viewed as analogous
to a person's ability to bounce back after a jarring setback.
Wow! That definition really blew me away. I love the visual of
absorbing energy as if from a blow because that is exactly what it
feels like when our child dies. It is a tremendous blow that knocks
us off our feet. We fear that we will never be able to get up
again. We might not be able to go on living. When we go through
child loss, it feels like we receive blow after blow, again and
again. That is where our resilience comes in. Even though we don't
think we will be able to go on, somehow, we do. Somehow, we get out
of bed. Somehow, life continues. We are not the same by any means,
but we survive as we attempt to go back to something close to our
original shape.
Today, Gwen and I discuss five key areas that impact our resilience
and ability to continue living after tragedy. Thinking about these
different points can help as we attempt to move forward through the
pain of child loss. Our resilience can assist us so that we to not
simply crumple up into a ball and whither away as a result of this
great blow, but that we instead retain some of our shape and
release positive energy back to those around us.