Jun 22, 2023
After the death of a child, grieving
parents continue to function. We get up out of bed (most days). We
usually shower. We eat at least something. Some of us even try to
work. How do we do it? We cope and each person has different coping
strategies that we rely on to use during these dark
times.
I remember
so many people saying to me after Andy died, "You are so strong. I
would never be able to do what you are doing." Honestly, those
comments really just made me mad. I didn't know how to 'do'
anything. There isn't a choice. If those people were in my shoes,
they would be functioning as well. They may do better and they may
do worse, but they would function in some way because there is no
other option.
Having
said that, there are healthy ways to cope and maladaptive ways to
cope after the loss of a child, and that's what we dove into this
week. Special guest Jami opens up to us about the unhealthy way
that she relied on alcohol during the first year after losing her
son, Judson, and, how over this past year, she has learned to make
healthier decisions for herself in her grief.
My
absolute favorite part of today's podcast is when Jami went over
her three keys for early grievers. They are listed
below:
1.) Grace
- Be gentle with yourself. Know that tomorrow is a new day. Don't
beat yourself up about making a poor decision today. You are doing
the best that you can!
2.)
Community - Find a group of people who will support you
unconditionally. Oftentimes, this is a community of other grievers
and not your family or current friends.
3.)
Movement - This does not mean that you need to run for miles or do
an hour of yoga. Even two minutes of deep breathing and stretching
can get your body moving and help with your
grief.
These keys
can help soften the edges and make this grief journey just a tiny
bit easier.