Preview Mode Links will not work in preview mode

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

Feb 6, 2020

Today's episode of Always Andy's Mom is, for me, one of the most emotional episodes I have had to date. Connor's mom, Nan, describes him in a way that reminds me of Andy. He was the middle child of three, all born two years apart with extremely close relationships with his siblings. The bond between Connor and his mother was also very similar to my relationship with Andy. My husband and I always laughed that Andy was 'my' kid in a way that the others were not. I understood Andy, his emotionality, and his energy. The other two kids are much more like my husband in their personalities. They don't wear their emotions on their sleeves like Andy did, and I still do.

Eleven years ago at the age of 12, Connor died. He had a headache one day, which then progressed to pneumonia, and then to overwhelming sepsis. Overall, the time from his first symptoms to his death was only 10 days, short in many ways, but long in so many others. Nan talks about this time and what has followed over the years, giving insights as to when certain milestones have come along her journey, how others have helped her, and how she has been able to help herself.

In addition to me getting emotional at the beginning while hearing her stories and descriptions, what 'got me' even more was just her presence and way of talking now. She has a sense of peace about her that is hard for me to even imagine having myself. Eleven years out after Connor's sudden death, she shows an amazing wisdom. As I listened to her, I could get a little bit of a glimpse as to what my life could be like in the future, and what I hope and pray my life will be like ten years down the road.