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Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom


As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

Dec 30, 2021

Support from other grieving people can play such an integral role in our grief journeys. Being able to talk with people who 'get it' can bring us comfort. Witnessing those who are just a little further along in their grief story can inspire us to know that it is possible to not only live after loss, but to experience bits of joy in that life as well.

As a part of the wrap-up to the Christmas season, as well as a wrap-up to 2021, I decided to get 4 amazing moms together to talk just about this and to show how slowly and surely, things do change over time when we allow ourselves to work through our grief. Today, we have a chat with Demetra (1 yr after the death of Eleni), Chrisy (2 yrs after the death of Caleb), me (3 yrs after from the death of Andy), and Laura (4 yrs after the death of Luke). The pain is still strong, surely. We mourn our children each day, but over time, the pain softens a bit, and joy begins to sneak back in in little ways.

Slowly, a few good days begin to sneak in, and then the good days start outnumbering the bad. Living each day starts to become just a little less heavy, the pain less sharp. If you are interested in working through your grief with other bereaved people in 2022, I encourage you to look for a support group in your area.  If you are interested in a virtual (or in person in west Michigan) Christian-based support group, email Stephanie at stephanie@starlightmin.org. A new session, (which I facilitate) starts in early February. Hopefully, 2022 can bring each of us a little bit of peace and hope for the future.