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Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

Jan 26, 2023

Shortly after Michelle and I finished recording today’s interview, Michelle wrote back to me saying that she didn’t feel like she shared much hope. She had wanted to be inspirational to other bereaved parents when sharing her grief journey after losing her two sons Xavier and Aidan in a tragic car accident but thought that she had been anything but inspiring. In my opinion, Michelle couldn’t be more wrong. Her life is the absolute definition of hope. 
What is hope? Hope is getting up out of bed every morning after you have lost both of your children, and you just want to hide away from the world. Hope is continuing to work with children as a school nurse after your own children are gone. Hope is clinging to your Christian faith while you are in the depths of despair. Hope is opening your heart to have another child, even as you fear losing him as well. 
Michelle, your very life is hope and an example to all of us as to how to live. Thank you for truly showing us what hope looks like in the darkness of grief. Thank you for being so open and honest with us in sharing your emotions. You are an inspiration.