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Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom


As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

Oct 26, 2023

If you watch the video of this week's podcast on YouTube or watch clips on the AlwaysAndysMom Instagram account this week, you will see a beautiful picture of Andrea's daughter, Taylor (also known as TT) sitting right behind her. On the picture, are these amazing words, 'You will never be forgotten. I promise.' That is our goal as bereaved parents, isn't it? We want to make sure that however short or long our child's time was on this earth, we want it to have mattered. We want them remembered.

Andrea and her husband were high school sweethearts. After marrying, the two envisioned having a big family, but that was not in the cards. Early in this week's podcast, Andrea shares that there may have never been a baby born who was more wanted than Taylor. Andrea recounts the long years of infertility that the couple endured. By the time Taylor was born, Andrea had gone through IVF treatments nine times. That 9th time was the charm, and Andrea and her husband were blessed with an amazing baby girl. After Taylor was born, the couple tried IVF three more times before stopping after Andrea had a cancer diagnosis and underwent treatment. Their family of three was small, but it was complete. 

I have spoken with many mothers over the past 4 years who have had close relationships with their daughters, but likely none have been closer than Andrea and Taylor. Life was not always easy for the family, but they made it through the tough times together. They spoke on the phone multiple times every day. Andrea suspects that the two texted as much as 50 times per day. One of the last texts that Andrea sent to Taylor was a picture with the following words - I hope you know that I've had the time of my life raising you.

Now after losing TT suddenly at the age of 30, Andrea and her husband are living their days as a couple once again. Their only child is gone, and it is difficult to want to look into the future. There will be no grandchildren. They feel as if their legacy died with Taylor, but they cling to the words on that picture, 'You will never be forgotten. I promise.'

They remember their TT and we remember ours. We promise.