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Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom


As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

Nov 2, 2023

Vickielly's son, Artin, lived for only 20 hours when he was born last year, but those 20 hours changed her forever. The compassion that she developed for others who are suffering reached new levels. From Vickielly's 20 week ultrasound, she and her husband knew that Artin would not be a 'normal' baby. With hypoplastic left heart syndrome, they expected a long NICU stay and multiple surgeries. Unfortunately, complications developed during birth and Artin suffered severe brain damage. Their long NICU stay suddenly became very, very short.

As a trained nurse, Vickielly had been ready to take a break working as a charge nurse at a surgery center and spend the next years of her life caring for her own son. After his death, everything changed and nothing changed all at the same time. Even though Artin did not survive, Vickielly still wanted to live for Artin. She wanted him to have a legacy. Immediately after getting home from the hospital, she began pumping breastmilk. This would not be breastmilk for her own infant, but it would be donated as a gift from Vickielly and Artin to other babies in the NICU.

Once she returned back to work in the operating room, Vickielly found that it was just too difficult. She had flashbacks of the nightmare of her own C-section. Eventually, Vickielly knew that she needed to find a new path, but she still wanted to care for people who were suffering. Vickielly wanted the comfort of being home instead of in a medical setting, and she could do this while being a triage nurse on the phone. Now, Vickielly spends her days offering comfort and assistance to patients with medical concerns. She helps them find the right medical care whether it be home care, a doctor's visit or even calling 911 for them. VIckielly's compassion fueled by her love for Artin, is helping her to be a tremendous blessing to others every single day.