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Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom


As a pediatrician, married mom of three biological children and one foster son, my life was busy, rushing off to my office four days a week, seeing patients for three and working as a medical director of a local physician organization for one. I balanced this with rushing off to shuttle my kids to after sports and other after school activities. All of this changed one day in August of 2018 when my 14 year old son, Andy, was killed in a car accident. I felt like my life was over, and in some ways it was over, and a new life was forced to begin in its place. 

Grief is seldom discussed openly in our culture, and the death of a child makes people feel even more uncomfortable. On this blog and podcast, ‘Losing a Child: Always Andy’s Mom’, the topic is approached openly and honestly, speaking to people who have lost loved ones and experts who help care for them. Whether you are a parent experiencing loss or someone who wants to support another going through this tragedy, this blog and podcast strives to offer hope and help.

Jan 9, 2025

I would consider today's guest, Kate, a born caregiver. I could sense her caring spirit immediately. Before losing her 12-year-old son, Ephrem, Kate worked as a birth doula and was in training to be a midwife. She loved supporting new young parents as they welcomed their new babies into the world.
 
After Ephrem died suddenly from complications from an aortic dissection, Kate no longer felt like she could continue working as a birth doula so she became a home health aide. One evening, Kate was assigned to be with an elderly man who was nearing the end of his life. Instead of offering support as a family welcomed new life, she sat with them as they prepared to say goodbye. Kate realized something that night - Ephrem's death had unveiled a new calling for her. She knew that hospice work was now what she was meant to do. Instead of supporting families as life entered the world, Kate would help people and their families at the end of life.
 
But hospice work was not Kate's only new calling. After Ephrem's death, Kate attended Luella's Lodge (a place near and dear to my own heart) for a retreat for bereaved parents. Kate found herself signing up for retreat after retreat. Each one gave her more strength. During one such retreat, Kate sat down with Carrie, co-founder of Luella's Lodge asking what she thought of the idea of Kate starting her own retreat center, fashioning it after Luella's Lodge. Carrie was thrilled.
 
Kate and her husband founded The Beekeeper's Well to offer support to bereaved families. Kate's dream is to eventually have a physical retreat center for bereaved parents in Southeast Michigan, but that will take time. For now, Kate offers weekly Sunday night drop-in Zoom support groups as well as grief coaching. Kate also hosts 'Home Retreats' anywhere in the US or Canada. These retreats are meant for smaller groups. Kate goes to a home (or often a weekend rental) and brings the retreat center experience to the bereaved. Kate finds local experts in yoga, breath work, massage, and other healing modalities and brings the magic of a grief retreat to grieving parents wherever they need it.