Apr 6, 2023
Today’s guest, Elizabeth, has learned much in the years since
her 8-year-old daughter, Erin, was killed while on a hike in the
mountains near Vancouver. It was three days before Christmas, and
suddenly, life was destroyed. Her perfect little family of four was
gone. She was left with her husband and 10-year-old son, trying to
decide if Santa should still bring presents for a dead
child.
After Erin’s death, Elizabeth says that she felt like she was
living in a paradox between holding on and letting go. She felt the
overwhelming need to hold on to all of the memories of Erin and not
allow herself to forget even little things about her. On the other
hand, however, she felt that it was important to let go and not
focus too much on the past so that she could live and feel joy in
the present.
Over the years, Elizabeth has met many bereaved parents and learned
that no one grieves in exactly the same way. We each need to
understand ourselves and make decisions that are best for us
personally. Some parents may want to surround themselves with their
children’s pictures or belongings to help them feel close, while
for others, doing so might bring more pain. Each person’s journey
is their own - there is no wrong choice.
There is one thing, however, that Elizabeth has learned with
certainty. ‘Loss is a part of life,’ Elizabeth says. When going
through life, it is impossible to avoid suffering. How do we handle
the suffering and go on living after the unthinkable has happened?
That is the question that each individual has to answer for
themselves.